To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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