I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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