i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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