dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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