I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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