its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
