There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
