Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
ugly people sure do ruin things
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
