Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Barsexuality is the new black.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
