you turned your livingroom into a bong?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize