Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Randomize
