I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Barsexuality is the new black.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Randomize
