No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
