Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
