I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
