The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
