So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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