my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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