at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
