Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize