Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
