I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
