so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
