I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
North Korea, Best Korea!
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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