the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
