dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
