like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
