ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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