in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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