She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
