real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
