Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I don't deserve a penis
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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