the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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