It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
