happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
