the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
