She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
