Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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