Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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