Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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