bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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