I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
