I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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