You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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