just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
