he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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