my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize