and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
