ya dads aren't the best wingmen
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
