before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
