worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
