so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
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Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
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All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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