i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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