a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
