You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
