Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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