So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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